Of green cards, H1Bs and onsites
After more than an year of introspection, self realization and complete scanning of my mindspace, and then dissecting my ‘needs’ gingerly on Maslow’s hierarchy and standing at the twilight zone of my MBA where i have to decide on the sector i want to branch into in my placements, here is what i have decided.Read on-
I still vividly remember the look on my project manager’s face when I handed over my resignation at Infy, ‘stay on Lalit, you will be moving to US shortly'.
I gave him a contemptuous look….poor soul doesn’t even realize that I am destined for higher things in life -investment banking, consulting and so on.
Well, after an year, the economy is picking up but unfortunately consulting & investment banking sectors are kinda small and software sector is still big; even Infy and IBM are recruiting massively again…..
"You get monkeys, if you pay peanuts" …..please, please, look closely at my face…do I look like a monkey?
I am here for the holy grail, ‘gyan’!
I am here for learning, the quest to be a complete professional (Comically I realize I still don’t have a ‘Raymond’ suit L ).
So Software it is, and hence my quest for THE Company starts.With more than 8 months to go for my placements i guess i still have time to zero in on my Prey.
The search starts with good old Infy.All my batchmates are at Onsite now.People who had joined in my batch, my client, my IBU, all of themi mean ALL THE PEOPLE i knew seem to be at onsite.People of all kinds, who were great, regarded as 'Fundu' to people whom i remember getting backs in all semesters of engg. are at onsite now.how did i know??
Well one Mr.Orkut Buyukkokten is to be blamed for this.How does one identify a techie cooling hisheels in onsite.Simple.
Follow the folowing steps for a postive match.
Step 1. Go on to his Orkut Profile.The Location will read something like "New Jersey, USA" or "Toronto, Canada". But his Brown skin ( you can call me a racist pig for this, but this aint no Big Brother!!)and a very Indian face flatters to decieve and you realise that this is the same person you knew who belonged to a Bandra, Mumbai or a T.N.Road, Chennai.
Step 2. Next stop is the Album section in Orkut.Believe me it shall be full(12/12) with atleast two snaps taken on snow, two in front of NASA or Eiffel Tower ( depending on which part of the globe you are in) with the person you knew wearing a very trendy western outfit as if he/she was born with it.Dont be decieved by the clothes or the shorter and trendier DCH Hair Cut that you see.The chap knows how big a hole that Hair Cut and that trendy coat made in his/her pocket.Don't you understand..?it was for the photo session you see!!
Step 3. Lets move on to the scraps.Lets see the scraps and my reactions to them embedded in brackets inline. Here you will find exclamations like "Ohh you know it Snowed out here..My God it was unbelievebale" ( yeah it is..unbelieveable!!) or "It's so cool out here, i mean everything is so organised so unlike India"(wait till they organise your Visa expiry, then you will realise how orgainsed they are). Some self appointed patriots will try showing off their psuedo patriotism thinking that they are brand ambassadors of 'India Shining' with scraps like "Whatever you say, India is India, Ohh i miss india so much" ( Dude!! who's stopping you??pack your bags and take the next flight home!!) One more very common scrap is of friends and lesser mortals enquiring "Wahin settle hone ka iraada hai kya, ki wapas aa rahe ho??"(Do i see a blush on the 1/4th NRI's face??Dont worrie dude, he wasn't Born there , as soon as his PM decides that he is done with this Guy he will chop him off, and the next in line will have his VISA stamped!!)
Step 4. Chat with the Guy and you find the Americanisation of his Vocab. 'Petrol' has become 'Gas', he has stopped watching the DDLJs and KANKs and has started watching the Firangee movies. He even asks for the rates in Dollars.Good Lord!!Don't worry Dude, you are not on a green card, it's just a H1B and the day they shove you back you will be paying the Autowalla 20 rupees for the ride back home and not 20 dollars!!
Don't tell me that i am bitching and don't tell me the story of sour grapes.Even i am in the queue.Even i will get my turn at Onsite some day, my'Nirvana', the 'Moksha'..I will get that state of bliss. All great men have been enlightened under one tree or another - Buddha had his bodhi tree, Newton had his apple tree. Unfortunately for me, I will attain nirvana under a Coconut tree.By the way, do they have Coconut Trees in USA?? ;)
I still vividly remember the look on my project manager’s face when I handed over my resignation at Infy, ‘stay on Lalit, you will be moving to US shortly'.
I gave him a contemptuous look….poor soul doesn’t even realize that I am destined for higher things in life -investment banking, consulting and so on.
Well, after an year, the economy is picking up but unfortunately consulting & investment banking sectors are kinda small and software sector is still big; even Infy and IBM are recruiting massively again…..
"You get monkeys, if you pay peanuts" …..please, please, look closely at my face…do I look like a monkey?
I am here for the holy grail, ‘gyan’!
I am here for learning, the quest to be a complete professional (Comically I realize I still don’t have a ‘Raymond’ suit L ).
So Software it is, and hence my quest for THE Company starts.With more than 8 months to go for my placements i guess i still have time to zero in on my Prey.
The search starts with good old Infy.All my batchmates are at Onsite now.People who had joined in my batch, my client, my IBU, all of themi mean ALL THE PEOPLE i knew seem to be at onsite.People of all kinds, who were great, regarded as 'Fundu' to people whom i remember getting backs in all semesters of engg. are at onsite now.how did i know??
Well one Mr.Orkut Buyukkokten is to be blamed for this.How does one identify a techie cooling hisheels in onsite.Simple.
Follow the folowing steps for a postive match.
Step 1. Go on to his Orkut Profile.The Location will read something like "New Jersey, USA" or "Toronto, Canada". But his Brown skin ( you can call me a racist pig for this, but this aint no Big Brother!!)and a very Indian face flatters to decieve and you realise that this is the same person you knew who belonged to a Bandra, Mumbai or a T.N.Road, Chennai.
Step 2. Next stop is the Album section in Orkut.Believe me it shall be full(12/12) with atleast two snaps taken on snow, two in front of NASA or Eiffel Tower ( depending on which part of the globe you are in) with the person you knew wearing a very trendy western outfit as if he/she was born with it.Dont be decieved by the clothes or the shorter and trendier DCH Hair Cut that you see.The chap knows how big a hole that Hair Cut and that trendy coat made in his/her pocket.Don't you understand..?it was for the photo session you see!!
Step 3. Lets move on to the scraps.Lets see the scraps and my reactions to them embedded in brackets inline. Here you will find exclamations like "Ohh you know it Snowed out here..My God it was unbelievebale" ( yeah it is..unbelieveable!!) or "It's so cool out here, i mean everything is so organised so unlike India"(wait till they organise your Visa expiry, then you will realise how orgainsed they are). Some self appointed patriots will try showing off their psuedo patriotism thinking that they are brand ambassadors of 'India Shining' with scraps like "Whatever you say, India is India, Ohh i miss india so much" ( Dude!! who's stopping you??pack your bags and take the next flight home!!) One more very common scrap is of friends and lesser mortals enquiring "Wahin settle hone ka iraada hai kya, ki wapas aa rahe ho??"(Do i see a blush on the 1/4th NRI's face??Dont worrie dude, he wasn't Born there , as soon as his PM decides that he is done with this Guy he will chop him off, and the next in line will have his VISA stamped!!)
Step 4. Chat with the Guy and you find the Americanisation of his Vocab. 'Petrol' has become 'Gas', he has stopped watching the DDLJs and KANKs and has started watching the Firangee movies. He even asks for the rates in Dollars.Good Lord!!Don't worry Dude, you are not on a green card, it's just a H1B and the day they shove you back you will be paying the Autowalla 20 rupees for the ride back home and not 20 dollars!!
Don't tell me that i am bitching and don't tell me the story of sour grapes.Even i am in the queue.Even i will get my turn at Onsite some day, my'Nirvana', the 'Moksha'..I will get that state of bliss. All great men have been enlightened under one tree or another - Buddha had his bodhi tree, Newton had his apple tree. Unfortunately for me, I will attain nirvana under a Coconut tree.By the way, do they have Coconut Trees in USA?? ;)
posted by Perfect Misfit at 12:44 PM
5 Comments:
Good god!!
I do brag a little abt India but then its more of the relations than the land itself!
I was going thru each and everyline and wondering, Now, the next line, he will pull me. But me got saved to a great extent.
I know ur post was on an entirely different topic, but ist very true! I mean especially the orkut things, I dont know why people do that.
And ya, you do have coconut trees in US, coastal to be precise!
All in all, great blog! Keep going!
Dude ... a perceptive post if I ever saw one :)
Nice blog ... keep blogging (AND I HOPE BARCLAYS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A SINGAPORE-BASED VERSION OF THE CHARACTERS YOU'VE DESCRIBED IN THIS POST) :P
Bon Voyage!
cool comic style of writing,great reads,
Hi,
I enjoyed every line of it about H1 and people. And especially your comment on your PM...How nicely you have snapped on the face of those people who take snaps in snow ice ...Good one
Prabha
@Shaunak
Thanx Buddy!!Do keep the comments coming..and BTW..its been around 2 months i have been here now..any significant changes tat u see now..hehe ;)
@smita and prabha
thanx for the FB..keep them coming!!
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